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The Kitchenless Cook's ultimate birthday wish list

Written by Bill Knutson, The Kitchenless Cook

Tuesday, 28 February 2006

"What do you want for your birthday?" This is a question that has left me stumped every year. My standard reply has been "Surprise me." But this year is going to be different; I will be completely forthcoming. I feel now that I have reached the ultimate age of 42, I should be entitled to all I want in life, the universe and everything. The following list should make gift shopping easy for my readers, friends and family. • The Cal Spa Sports Bar and Grill (www.calspas.com). This is the only kitchen I would ever need. It has a stainless steel grill with five burners, giving me enough cooking space to roast a seven bone prime rib with room to spare. A refrigerator with an optional beer tap will keep my favorite beverage at an ideal temperature. If the sun (or rain) is coming down a bit too strong, there are four retractable awnings to keep my guests cool (or dry). And if my culinary skills are not entertaining enough, there are two 17 inch flat panel TVs with a DVD/CD player to distract my friends. All this for a mere $27,000. • A vacation home aboard the Magellan, a residential luxury cruise ship (www.residentialcruiseline.com). What could be more exciting than cruising around the world, foraging for unique ingredients and preparing gourmet meals in my own private penthouse with a spectacular ocean view? I could spend my days strolling through the trees and waterfalls in the onboard greenhouse or enjoy sports from around the world in the sports bar. I could relax in the spa or dance the night away in the ship's nightclub. With a two bedroom penthouse starting at $1.8 million, this would be the perfect way to show you care. • A sous chef. It would help to have a second set of hands to stir the pot of asparagus and masatake mushroom risotto on the hot plate while I run to the grill to check on my truffled squab. • A complete set of Riedel glassware (www.riedel.com). Living in a basement apartment, it feels like I wake up inside a wine cellar every morning. The advantage to this is that I can store my priceless wine collection without fear of damage. My 1977 Col d'Orcia Brunello di Montalcino has been collecting dust waiting for the perfect glassware. • The Little Guy Tailgater (www.teardroptrailersexpress.com). This is the perfect camper, almost small enough to hide in the back of your walk in closet. I can see myself camping in the redwoods and grilling a Kobe beef burger Rossini and knocking back a few cold pints of Anchor Steam from the built in beer tap. If needed, I could hide from the elements in the queen size sleep area. Price with the tailgater package is a reasonable $5,695. • Cooking tour of Italy in a Ferrari (www.cooking vacations.com & www.red travel.com). Cooking Vacations International and Red Travel Tours have teamed up to create the ultimate in fast food. I would start my day learning to make classic Italian dishes and in the afternoon be racing through the countryside in search of Michelin star restaurants. This trip is limited to three couples per week and each day I would get to drive a different model Ferrari. Prices vary by package. To book my tour, call (617) 247 4112. Mail your gifts to: Kitchenless Cook, c/o Northside Publications, 3053 Fillmore Street, San Francisco, CA 94123. For larger packages, email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it to arrange for pickup. Ultimate birthday dinner This year for my birthday, I am avoiding the dilemma of where to eat by choosing what to eat. My first thoughts were of individual dishes such as the honeymoon at Sushi on North Beach, the sweetbreads from Luella, Gary Danko's lobster risotto and Bobo's bone-in filet. The list could go on forever, and who would want to deal with the logistics of reservations and parking at six or seven restaurants in one night? I am going to solve this problem by creating the menu and recipes for my ultimate birthday dinner and hoping someone will take on my culinary challenge and invite me to dinner. The Menu Soup: foie gras wontons in shitake miso broth Wine pairing: J Brut Rosé First course: lobster claw spring rolls with Moro blood orange chili dipping sauce Wine pairing: Billecart-Salmon Brut Rosé Main course: surf and turf, roast Maine lobster tail with sauterne glaze and seared filet mignon with port reduction Wine pairing: Dom Perignon, vintage 1993 Dessert: a solitary scoop of Dreyer's French vanilla ice cream topped with Green and Black's Organic Dark Chocolate (70% cocoa) Wine pairing: Veuve Clicquot Rose Reserve, vintage 1996 To keep in the spirit of a celebratory dinner, I paired each course with one of my favorite champagnes. I chose mostly Brut Roses because I enjoy how they pair with rich foods. The 1993 Dom Perignon was chosen for the surf and turf because the aging gives it a balance that allows it to work with both the lobster and steak. Happy birthday to me! Cheers, Bill Soup: Foie Gras Wontons in Shitake Miso Broth 1/4 pound foie gras 4 cippolini onions (shallots will substitute nicely) 2 tablespoons butter wonton wrappers 1/4 pound sliced shitake mushrooms 2 tablespoons miso paste 2 tablespoons sauterne water pea sprouts for garnish For the broth, add one quart water, mushrooms and sauterne to a 2-quart saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. In a small bowl, add miso paste and a small amount of broth from pan. Stir until miso is dissolved and return to saucepan. Simmer for 20 minutes and strain. As the broth simmers, carefully slice the foie gras into 1/2-inch slices and then into pieces about an inch across. (Foie gras is very delicate: use a very sharp knife and dip knife in warm water before each cut.) Chop onions into 1/4-inch slices. In a skillet melt butter over medium heat and add onions. When the onions have started to caramelize, push to the sides and add foie gras to the pan. Foie gras sears very quickly, so it is best to cook only a few slices at a time. Sear each side and remove from heat. This should take only 15 to 20 seconds per side. After searing, place each slice of foie gras in the center of a wonton wrapper and fold over, pressing the wrapper together around the foie gras. Place wontons in a steamer without overlapping and steam for two minutes. Place wontons in a shallow bowl and add enough broth just to cover. Garnish with pea sprouts and a few mushrooms from broth. First Course: Lobster Claw Spring Rolls with Moro Blood Orange Chili Dipping Sauce 1 cooked Maine lobster (save tail for main course) spring roll wrappers (tapioca sheets) pea shoots enoki mushrooms jicama, cut into slivers vermicelli rice noodles juice of 2 Moro blood oranges 3 tablespoons light corn syrup 1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar 1 teaspoon crushed red chili Carefully remove meat from claw and knuckles. Cut each claw into two thin slices. Prepare noodles according to directions and allow to cool. Quickly dip the wrappers into room-temperature water and lay on a flat surface. Add a small amount of the pea shoots, jicama, mushrooms and noodles to the edge of wrapper closest to you. Roll the wrapper over the ingredients and lay slice of lobster claw and a bit of the knuckle meat with the red side facing down just above the rolled portion. Fold over the sides and roll all the way up. These are best if made earlier in the day and allowed to cool in the refrigerator. For the sauce, combine juice, corn syrup, vinegar and chili in a small saucepan and simmer for 15 minutes. Allow to cool in refrigerator before serving. Main Course: Surf and Turf, Roast Maine Lobster Tail with Sauterne Glaze and Seared Filet Mignon with Port Reduction 1 cooked Maine lobster tail 2 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons sauterne 2 teaspoons citrus champagne vinegar (O Olive Oil Co.) 1 teaspoon tarragon 1 2-inch thick filet mignon 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 tablespoon port vinegar (also made by O Olive Oil) 6 ounces port salt and pepper Melt butter in a small saucepan and add sauterne, champagne vinegar and tarragon. Heat while stirring over low heat for five minutes. Split lobster tail lengthwise. Pour sauterne glaze over lobster meat and place lobster in a barbecue over indirect medium heat for 10-15 minutes or until lobster starts to brown slightly. If you don't have a barbecue, broil on one of the lower racks in your oven. Salt and pepper one side of the filet. Heat olive oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add meat to the pan salt-and-pepper side up. Cook for eight minutes, turn over and cook an additional four minutes (five if you like it medium rare). Remove from heat and cover with aluminum foil. Reduce heat to low and add port vinegar and port. Be careful: the oil will splatter if really hot. Stir with a wooden spoon or spatula and slowly raise the heat until port is reduced by half. Uncover meat and cut into half-inch slices and serve with port sauce. Dessert: French Vanilla Ice Cream Topped with Green and Black's Organic Dark Chocolate (70% Cocoa) Dreyers' French vanilla ice cream (this is my wish, but unfortunately I cannot eat it due to a dairy allergy. I will have to eat Soy Delicious and pretend it is ice cream.) Green and Black's Organic Dark Chocolate (70% cocoa) fresh mint Chill serving bowls in freezer for 15 minutes before serving. Add one scoop of ice cream (or Soy Delicious) to bowl. Using a fine cheese grater, grate chocolate into a powder and dust the top of the ice cream. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.

Last Updated ( Friday, 24 November 2006 )